The problem is...

The main problem is, apart from everything I've just written, is that I don't have the John I fell in love with any more. He was kind, considerate and really made me feel safe and looked after - now he's the same person with everyone else, but not me. We used to talk for hours, go out to the cinema and sit and watch cheesy tv together - he would watch the stuff i liked and vice versa - he would always look after me, and ring to check I was ok. he wouldn't let me go out on my own in the dark and was protective when i would go out with exes. Now he really couldn't give a damn! He did used to play computer games but not all the time like this, probably a couple of evening a week he would play for a few hours and Iwould chat to him and read while he was playing, now he gets mad at me when I speak to him while he's playing! We would go to bed together at the same time, and make love often, we would watch dvd's in bed or he would read if he wasn't tired when i wen't to bed - but he was still there, I could cuddle him and no I was safe.Now I spend the majority of my time in bed , alone. Actually, I spend the majority of my time, alone, full stop. I need someone to look after Me , to give me some attention and to make me feel special. Which is why i know I will end up turning to other men to find that, I don't want that - I want my husband to love me again, but I don't think that's gonna happen, I think we've gone too far.